


you're my universe and more

by parkj_nwoo



Series: hyunjin & jeongin’s universe [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dialogue Heavy, I'll fix it later, Kinda, M/M, Not Beta Read, Slight Minsung, Slow Burn, as usual, hyunjin's a mess, i did my best?, jeongin deserves all the hugs, slight chanlix, still pretty bad at summaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-09 23:33:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20518274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkj_nwoo/pseuds/parkj_nwoo
Summary: with exams and his critique around the corner, hyunjin surrounds himself with work.what happens when he almost loses his beloved jeongin?





	you're my universe and more

**Author's Note:**

> hello~ i finally wrote part two!!
> 
> i hope it's accurate! i recommend reading part one of this series, so you get an idea of the story line before this. it's explained a bit better there.

“jeongin, i’ve already told you, i have an exam in the morning.” hyunjin sighs, “i can’t watch a movie tonight. i’ve got to go to sleep soon.” the older boy shuts his laptop, facing the boy beside him. he can’t help but feel a pang of guilt when jeongin merely pouts and nods, and hyunjin tries not to notice how he slightly shifts away from him.

with the end of the semester nearing, hyunjin’s professors have been quite demanding, scheduling exams that have filled up hyunjin’s entire week. the end of the semester also brings his dance critique, which makes him even more stressed than any exam possibly could.

due to the sudden pile of work unleashed upon him, he’s had less time to spend with his boyfriend. he has to admit, he really misses having jeongin all to himself. he misses being able to mindlessly walk around campus with him, cuddling while watching movies until the sun has almost rose, and, most of all, he misses jeongin’s smile.

jeongin still smiles, of course. there’s almost always a smile on his face, but there’s something off about it now. it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, no matter who he’s directing it to. hyunjin used to get the biggest smiles, smiles he thought were only for him. now, though, he only gets to see jeongin’s ‘normal’ smile; the one without any teeth, that he directs to the students who approach him in the library. 

hyunjin knows this is his fault. he’s let his academics get in the way of what really matters to him. yet, the threat of his parents transferring him is still looming over his head. he knows, no matter how much he misses jeongin, that it’ll only get worse if he has to move away from the boy. 

jeongin knows, too, that hyunjin has a lot on his mind right now. he knows that hyunjin’s stressed, has not had a good night’s rest in a really long time. each time hyunjin apologizes for not being able to get lunch, meet up at the library, or rejects the invitation to hang out in one of their dorms, jeongin simply replies with an _ ‘okay, hyung~ fighting!’ _ . hyunjin tries to think that it’s a good sign, that jeongin understands and isn’t hurt by it. when hyunjin actually sees the younger boy’s face during one of these occasions, he gets anxious that he may be wrong.

looking down at his phone, jeongin sighs when seeing the time. he slowly gets up from the couch, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. hyunjin silently watches him gather his belongings, before standing up and walking him to the door. as jeongin opens the door, hyunjin reaches out and grabs the boy’s wrist.

“i’ll make it up to you, okay, innie?” hyunjin pleads, “we’ll watch as many movies as you want, as soon as my exams are over.” jeongin stares at hyunjin’s hand on his wrist, before looking back up at the older. he takes his hand back, before waving and giving him that smile again, as he walks away.

hyunjin knows he’s done more than a simple mess up.

-✮⭒✮⭒✮-

“hyunjin, come on, we need to get going,” minho says, “you’ve been practicing for hours, it’s nearly three in the morning.” turning off the music, hyunjin groans as he slams his head a bit too hard against the wall. 

“dude, what the hell?” minho yells, rushing to hyunjin’s side, “are you okay? what’s going on?” he questions worriedly, observing the red mark that’s now forming on hyunjin’s forehead.

“jeongin hasn’t texted me back since yesterday, and i haven’t seen him in three days.” hyunjin mumbles, ignoring the stinging pain in his head. it’s admittedly easy to ignore, since the pain in his heart hurts more.

minho sighs, placing a hand on the taller boy’s shoulder. “come on, i’ll take you back to the dorm and we can get some rest.” he says gently, leaning down to grab their bags. hyunjin sighs, but nods slowly, following minho out of the practice room.

when the two finally reach their dorm, hyunjin immediately collapses face down on his bed. he ignores the small dip that forms beside him, figuring minho’s going to speak whether he acknowledges him or not.

“jinnie, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?” hyunjin lets out a muffled ‘mhm’ before minho continues, “whatever’s going on between you and jeongin, i’m sure it’ll work itself out, yeah? every couple hits a few bad spots every so often, it’s natural. you two will find your way back to each other soon, you guys were made for each other.” hyunjin then sits up, turning towards the older.

“but, hyung, what if we _ weren’t _ made for each other?” minho swears he’s never heard hyunjin’s voice this soft, “what if, in some messed up way, we were never meant to like each other? think about it, we’re completely different. he’s all soft pastels and clear skies, while i’m clashing hues and dark clouds.” hyunjin looks down at his lap, clutching at his blanket as he wills his tears away, “what if he’s realized that, too? that he didn’t truly like me, that every moment we’ve spent together was meaningless to him? what if…” hyunjin cuts himself off, allowing a tear to fall down his cheek as he whispers, “what if he doesn’t love me like i love him?”

minho freezes, and he can’t help but stare at the boy for a moment before wrapping him in his arms, trying to keep his own tears at bay.

that was the first time hyunjin admitted to loving jeongin, and jeongin didn’t get to hear it himself.

-✮⭒✮⭒✮-

“sungie, i don’t know what to do.” minho sighs, flopping down on the couch in jisung’s studio. “hyunjin hasn’t left the dorm in days. i literally had to drag him out of bed to get him to eat and shower.” 

“did something happen between him and jeongin?” jisung asks, “i’ve noticed jeongin hasn’t attended class as often, and last time i saw him, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days.”

“i don’t know what happened,” minho groans, shoving his face into the cushions of the couch, “one day, they were being all gross and cuddly on the couch, and the next hyunjin’s locking himself in the practice room until the sun rises.”

“do you think they broke up?” jisung looks over at minho, who has a conflicted look on his face, “or maybe they just got into a huge fight? i’m sure it’ll resolve itself quickly. they always get into little quarrels anyway. i wouldn’t worry about it, hyung.” minho sighs, lifting his head up to face jisung.

“maybe you’re right, sung. but i’m still worried, you know? after that breakdown hyunjin had, i don’t think it was simply a quarrel.” 

“how about this, hyung,” jisung looks back at minho again, “send felix to get him out of the house and coax something out of him. you know hyunjin can’t say no to felix.” minho gasps, throwing himself off the coach and towards where jisung is sitting.

  
“that’s perfect! i knew i could count on you, sungie!” minho throws his arms around jisung’s neck, burying his head in the younger’s neck. 

“of course, hyung, anytime.” jisung laughs softly, wrapping his arms around minho’s waist and pressing a kiss to the side of his head. 

-✮⭒✮⭒✮-

“oh hyunjin!” hyunjin groans when there’s a sudden weight collapsing on top of him, “it’s time to get up, you lazy bum.”

“let me wither away in peace, felix.” hyunjin mutters, pushing felix off of him. felix shakes his head, standing up and throwing hyunjin’s blankets to the floor.

“no can do, jin! i promised minho-hyung that i would help you feel better.” felix grabs hyunjin’s arm, then, pulling the boy up from the bed despite his weak protests. hyunjin glares at felix through his bangs that are a mess on his forehead.

“so minho put you up to this.” he scowls, “i knew you would rather have me wallowing in my own pity.” felix gasps in mock offense, putting a hand on his chest defensively.

“i would never! i didn’t even know you were sad! if i had, i would’ve dragged you out sooner!” felix grabs the other’s arm, pulling him out of the bed and towards his bathroom, “now, go get showered, because you stink, and we’ll go get ice cream!” 

hyunjin sighs, wanting to resist more, but finally gives in after realizing it’s probably the best for him. felix just wants to help him get over his slump, he should be appreciative of his friend.

he needs to get over jeongin eventually, right?

-✮⭒✮⭒✮-

after hyunjin’s showered and dressed, felix eagerly pulls him out of the house and to an ice cream parlor off campus. it’s a twenty minute walk, but it’s one hyunjin’s never been to before. he silently thanks felix for not taking him to the one on campus, which he’s been to with jeongin too many times to count.

“go pick a table, okay?” felix asks as they enter the parlor, “i’ll order our ice cream and be there in a moment. you want chocolate, right?” hyunjin nods, smiling weakly before heading to a table in the corner. while waiting, he busies himself by looking out the window to the busy street. 

as he watches people go by, his eyes unintentionally land on a couple across the street. they’re sitting on a bench at the bus stop, sharing a cup of ice cream. he watches one lean on the other, smiling wide as the other wraps their arm around their shoulder. hyunjin can’t help the ache in his heart as he’s reminded of doing the same with jeongin not even two weeks earlier. 

he’s interrupted when felix sits his ice cream down in front of him, taking a seat across from him. they sit in silence for a bit, eating their ice cream before it melts. when felix finishes, he pushes his cup aside and leans his elbows on the counter, his gaze intense as he watches hyunjin. noticing his stare, hyunjin glances up at him, raising an eyebrow.

“jinnie, what’s going on?” felix sighs, exasperated, “we’re all worried, especially minho, he won’t shut up about you being sad. everything seemed fine, you seemed happy! then, you’re locking yourself in the dance room and overworking yourself. you know you can talk to me, right? i hate seeing you so sad, we all do."

hyunjin sighs, keeping his stare pointed to his ice cream that’s almost melted to be liquid. he wants to talk to someone, wants to let it out, but he doesn’t know where to begin.

“hyunjin, don’t take this the wrong way,” felix begins softly, reaching over the table to place a hand on hyunjin’s arm, “did something happen between you and jeongin?” at the mention of the younger’s name, hyunjin feels heat rise up behind his eyes. slowly, he nods, blinking rapidly to keep his tears at bay. “you don’t have to tell me exactly what happened, okay? just know that i’m here if you ever want to. i’m always willing to listen.” hyunjin almost cries right then, mentally cursing felix for being such an amazing person. sighing, he brings his head up to face felix.

“jeongin and i had a falling out, if you want to call it that.” hyunjin begins, losing his confidence and directing his gaze back to his ice cream. “i’ve had a lot of exams this week that i’ve had to prepare for, because i don’t want my parents to transfer me. my dance critique is coming up, too, so i’ve been really stressed.

“i haven’t been able to spend much time with jeongin because of it. he kept reassuring me that it was fine, that he was okay. but since the last time i told him i couldn’t do something with him, he’s barely talked to me. it’s been a week since he’s texted me, and even longer since i’ve seen him.” hyunjin inhales sharply, gripping at his cup, “i’ve messed up big time, lix. what if he means this as a break up?” felix sighs, rubbing a hand reassuringly on hyunjin’s arm.

“i’m sure he doesn’t mean it like that, jinnie. he cares about you more than anyone, or anything, else. you said he knows you’re busy studying and practicing, right? maybe he’s giving you space to concentrate. he may think you’ll get more inspiration if you’re left to your own devices.” hyunjin furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head.

“but lix, jeongin’s my inspiration.” his eyes are starting to burn again, but he doesn’t will it away this time, “without him around, i haven’t been able to choreograph anything. i miss him so much, felix.” letting a tear roll down his cheek, he looks out the window to where the couple was once sitting. “i can’t shake the feeling that i’ve really, really messed up, that i won’t get the chance to make this better.” 

“how about this, jinnie,” felix begins, “i’ll help you come up with a choreo for your critique, so you don’t have to do it on your own. then, wait until after the critique, see if anything between you and jeongin changes? if not, confront him and see what’s really wrong.” 

“felix, what if that’s too much time? what if he moves on before i get to him again?” hyunjin bites his lip worriedly, beginning to shake. felix’s hand moves to grasp hyunjin’s gently, shaking his head.

“if i know innie, he won’t be moving on any time soon.” felix reassures, smiling softly at hyunjin, “and if i’m wrong, you can hit me as much as you see fit.” hyunjin nods, forcing his best smile as he looks back to felix.

“we better get going, then. my critique is in four days.” at this, felix lets out a yell that’s a little too loud. he grabs hyunjin’s wrist, pulling him out of the parlor and towards the studio.

-✮⭒✮⭒✮-

days of rigorous practice go by, and it’s the day of hyunjin’s critique. he can’t lie, the choreo that he and felix came up with is undeniably good, and he’s pretty confident he’ll get a good grade. he can’t help being nervous as he looks out the curtain towards the crowd that’s formed. it’s not many people, only his classmates and a few people who signed up to come. he spots his friends sitting in the front, and his heart sinks when jeongin’s nowhere to be found.

he shakes his head, inhaling deeply to prepare himself. there’s still five minutes before the critiques start, five minutes for jeongin to get there. hyunjin still has hope. 

looking out at the crowd once more, his friends spot him and give him a thumbs up. he smiles back at them, before being ushered back to his dressing room.

-✮⭒✮⭒✮-

the critiques took longer than expected, and by the time hyunjin’s allowed to leave, he’s exhausted. he thinks his performance went really well, but he lost a bit of confidence after watching his classmates’ own, well thought out choreographies.

as he’s packing up his things, he hears yelling from behind him. he’s barely able to turn around before minho’s attacking him, throwing his arms around hyunjin in the tightest hug he’s ever received.

“you absolutely killed it, jinnie!” minho yells, pulling away to smile at him.

  
“hyung’s right, you did amazing!” changbin speaks up, reaching over to high five hyunjin. 

“speaking of amazing,” felix speaks up, walking up to hyunjin with a bundle of flowers, “these are for you, don’t look at the card until we’re gone.” felix has a mischevious look on his face as hyunjin takes the flowers from him, making hyunjin frown. “anyway, you did great, jin! we gotta go now, have fun tonight!” then, felix’s pulling the other two out of the room, leaving hyunjin alone once again.

_ ‘have fun tonight?’ _ hyunjin thinks, _ ‘what is he on about?’ _

hyunjin looks back at the flowers again, smiling at how pretty they were. felix really shouldn’t have. one, because hyunjin’s really bad at caring for plants. two, because these were extremely unnecessary for a friend to give their friend during a dance critique.

hyunjin reaches for the card that’s placed neatly within the flowers, wondering what kind of dumb thing felix could’ve written in it. he freezes when he sees his name written on the front of the card. that wasn’t felix’s handwriting. in fact, it was more familiar than felix’s. hyunjin has stared at this handwriting many times, to communicate with jeongin. 

this was _ jeongin’s _handwriting.

shaking slightly, hyunjin opens the card. when he reads what’s in it, he gasps, his tears threatening to fall.

_ “my hyunjin~♡ _

_i’m sorry for disappearing. you were really stressed, and i was probably only adding to it. i thought it would be best to go away, so i was no longer a burden… that’s the last thing i want, you know? to burden you. _

_ i’ve missed you a lot. i should’ve explained the situation earlier. i’m sure you’re mad at me. i would be too. _

_ i was at your performance. i think you did amazing, way better than any one else. i can tell you worked really hard~ _

_ i’ll be waiting for you outside the observatory, if you aren’t too mad at me. i’ll wait for you. if you’re not there by 10, i’ll take the hint. _

_ remember, i’ll be yours no matter what happens. _

_ with love,_

_ jeongin.” _

hyunjin lets out a small sob, shaking as he looks up at the clock on the wall. _ 9:50. _the observatory is a fifteen minute walk, ten if he sprints. he lays the flowers on the table beside him, abandoning his belongings as he runs out of the auditorium. 

as he runs, he can’t help but think how cliche this is. it seems like it’s right out of a k-drama, but he knows jeongin loves them, so it’s no surprise.

when he gets to the observatory, he checks the time on his phone. _ 10:01. _he’s only a minute late, surely jeongin’s still there.

hyunjin reaches the entrance, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. he drops his head when he realizes jeongin’s already left, falling to his knees in defeat. 

he’s not wallowing for long before he feels a hand on his shoulder. he looks up so quick, he can almost hear his neck crack. when he sees who the hand belongs to, he begins crying all over again.

jeongin’s standing there, cheeks and ears red from the cold. there’s a sad smile on his face, but his eyes are sparkling.

hyunjin’s quick to stand up, immediately pulling jeongin towards him in a hug. jeongin’s quick to hug him back, burying his head in hyunjin’s shoulder. hyunjin’s heart sinks when he feels tears wet his neck.

“i’m so sorry, innie,” hyunjin whispers, holding jeongin closer, “i prioritized my studies over you, i never should’ve done that. i hurt you, and i’m so so sorry. i promise it’ll never happen again.” he feels jeongin shake his head, as well as a hand on his shoulder urging him to pull away. 

jeongin’s smiling when hyunjin looks up, and it’s not his ‘normal’ smile, it’s the bright smile that jeongin always has with hyunjin. hyunjin feels his heart swell, his smile just as bright. 

he lifts his hand to one of jeongin’s cheeks, cupping it softly as he whispers, “i’ve missed that beautiful smile.” then, he leans in and kisses jeongin.

the kiss is soft, so soft it makes hyunjin’s head spin. this isn’t their first kiss, they’ve shared many, but it’s been so long it feels brand new. hyunjin loves it, regardless.

they pull away just enough to rest their foreheads together. hyunjin smiles, wrapping his arms around jeongin’s waist to hold him close. jeongin wraps his arms around hyunjin’s neck, smiling as he plays with the hair at the nape. hyunjin closes his eyes, taking in the affection he hasn’t experienced in so long.

he’s not sure how long they just stand there, enveloped in each other. hyunjin doesn’t really care, either. 

suddenly, there’s a voice reaching his ears. it’s quiet, raspy and inexperienced, and he doesn’t quite catch what it says at first. he pulls away from jeongin, furrowing his eyebrows as he looks at jeongin, noticing the blush and the nervousness on the younger’s face.

“innie, did you hear that? is there someone else here?” hyunjin looks around, trying to find the source. jeongin’s hands reach for hyunjin’s face, gently turning his head to face him. the nervousness is still there, and hyunjin isn’t sure why. “are you okay, innie?” he asks softly.

jeongin nods, inhaling as if he’s preparing himself for something. jeongin closes his eyes, hands still on hyunjin’s face. it feels like an eternity before something else happens.

hyunjin watches jeongin intensely, worry apparent on his face. then, jeongin’s mouth is moving, and hyunjin hears the voice again.

“i- i love… you.”

hyunjin’s eyes widen, watching as jeongin opens his eyes, tears pooling in them. hyunjin’s quick to wipe them away, the shock still settling in.

  
“innie? that was you?” jeongin nods slowly, biting his lip, “you… you can talk?” hyunjin asks softly, still trying to believe what he heard. when was jeongin able to talk?

jeongin shakes his head, then nods, before huffing and pulling out the notebook from his backpack. he flips to a page, handing it to hyunjin. hyunjin figures jeongin’s prepared for this.

_“the day after i decided to leave you alone, i started visiting a therapist. i figured i would better myself for you, since i know it’s a burden that i can’t talk. _

_ it’s really difficult for people like me to learn to talk. i can’t talk fluently, but i decided there were certain words i had to learn, so i could tell you. _

_ i love you, hyunjinnie. more than anything.” _

hyunjin stared at the paper for a while, taking in what he had just read. jeongin thought he was burden? he went through therapy just to tell hyunjin that he loved him? 

when he looked up at jeongin again, there were fresh tears on his cheeks. hyunjin smiled softly, shaking his head as he wiped the tears away.

“jeongin, my innie, you’ve never been a burden to me, not even once. you’re my everything,” hyunjin whispered, hand still on jeongin’s cheek, “i can’t believe you did this for me. it must’ve been really difficult right?” jeongin laughed wetly, nodding, “i’m so proud of you, innie. you’re doing so well.” jeongin lets out a sob at this, burying his face into hyunjin’s neck once again. 

hyunjin holds him once more, rubbing jeongin’s back comfortingly as jeongin calms down. when the sobs subside, hyunjin speaks up.

“hey, jeongin?” he feels a nod against his neck, arms tightening around his waist, “i love you too, so much.” 

jeongin shakes, tears present again. hyunjin can tell from the way jeongin’s arms go impossibly tighter, that they’re happy tears this time.

as they make their way back ten minutes later, hand in hand, hyunjin decides to never let jeongin go again. 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> just a side note, i'm not completely sure if my representation of jeongin learning how to speak is very accurate. i meant for the timeline to span two weeks, and he was practicing a LOT during that time. i'm sorry for any inaccuracies!
> 
> thanks for reading!  
twitter: @ddocastro


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